Supersleep

“The Three Stooges Collection. Volume Eight, 1955-1959”: The last of the Stooges short films and thank Crom for that. I tell you what, I am sorry to admit, but I hated these end of Stooges shorts days. Of the 32 shorts, only one was truly a gem and gave me a worthwhile laugh: A Merry Mix-Up. Other than that one, no Shemp but a fill in, recycled footage, recycled story-lines & boring plots. Joe actually had a good character, but it seemed the writers did nothing unique with him. Moe & Larry seemed to have done nothing funny. Moe lost his wise-cracking mean leader self. Larry seemed to have lost some weight. Gone were the slapstick humor & nyuk nyuks days. Nothing left to complain of. HEARING AID OFF

“The Eiger Sanction”: Whoa there, Professor Assassin Mt. Climber! The movie made me want to be a professor because blonde chick was running after the Prof. for some higher grades. And the movie made me want to be a mountain climber to be trained by a big busty Indian lady who used nudity to motivate. Plus the movie made me want to be an assassin because of the foxy black C-2 female agent that was willing to seduce the male assassin. Please don’t tell my wife what I am striving to become. Aside for the sexual plots of the movie, the movie was lame. Here is what you get: espionage, stupid plotting, paintings, boring climbing, the aha moment about the man who limped, some pretty funny albino jokes, and many, many racist jokes toward minority females. Oh, and what the hell was the ending all about and so utterly powerless. May the gods drop this film down the icy side of the Eiger. HEARING AID OFF.

“Planes, Trains & Automobiles”: Too much. Just too much. No matter how many times I’ve seen this, the laughs are always there. Nothing beats the scene when the two are going the wrong way: “You’re going the wrong way! You’ll kill somebody!” Better yet, “I think, he said, ‘We are going the wrong way.’” John Candy replies with, “How does he know where we’re going?” And Martin replies with a, “Yeah, how does he know where we’re going.” Mishap after mishap after mishap. What a great combo duo!? The best was Candy’s permed hair and 80s mustache; he played his character so well, especially while doin’ the mess around piece while driving. Ah man, that kills me, even to this very moment typing. HEARING AID ON

“Man Of Steel”: And zzzzzzzzzzzz. Long. Fudging way too zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Man of Sleep. Oh, look. It’s a plane. No, a bug UFO. Or is it the identity of Kent? Kent, Ohio? No, Clark, you know, the guy who is Superman and let his baseball player dad die. Wait, you mean to tell me, the hot red head who should be naked right now, found out the identity of Hopeman. Hopeman? Yeah, the S means that. Naw, the S means Superman. Yes, but why didn’t he save his dad real quick. It would have taken less than a second? Well, maybe because the scenes were out of order, or was it because it wasn’t his real dad or his dad wanted to play in the field of dreams? Don’t know. Don’t really, utterly, truly care, but why did the Kryptonians have flying creatures when they could fly? I haven’t the slightest idea. Maybe the filmmakers didn’t buy the rights. Wait, like in Smallville? The cape was so nice, very silky and flowy. I wanted to snuggle with the redhead on the cape. Oh yeah. Gimme, gimme. I’ll really give that princess something to sing about. What idiots send off their criminals into space only to have their planet blow up? Gen. Zod was the boring ugly guy from Take Shelter & I was expecting Gen Zod to build a bunker on Earth to keep away the storm of the century that rained oil. Maybe that was Zod’s plan? Who cares anything about Zod, Clark, Kent, OH, battled outfitted Superman’s dad, the dead dad killed by the tornado from Kansas that took Dorothy to Oz, flying pets, Toto, the burning bush, S symbol meaning hope …. Wait a minute, I do care about the burning bush, if you know what I mean. Oh behave, Caveman. HEARING AID OFF.