Santa Cheer Me Up

“Santa Clause 2”: Toy Santa was a trip. Hoo, hoo, hoooooo! Or how ‘bout when it drank the hot cocoa super-fast. Everything about the toy Santa was hilarious. I loved his rant about rules and coal, his face & smile. Dammit all, Tim was great. I even thought the reindeerspeak was great. The value of this movie was the scene in the gym, where all the teachers’ inner child was overwhelmed with Christmas spirit. Ho. Ho. Ho. Get me some of that hot cocoa. No wait. Coal. Yes! Everyone gets coal. Coal. Coal. Coal. And some more coal. As adults, we have to remember that the best gifts are not booze and money, but rather that certain toy or collectible or that always wanted item. For me, I would rather receive G.I. Joes for Christmas over anything in the whole wide little Santa world. I’m sure you don’t feel the same, but here is a holiday shopping tip for you. I hate Giant Eagle because the damn store is overpriced and fool you into believing that if you spend such amount from its overpriced aisles, you will get free gas. How much goddamn of your money do you have to spend to get that free tank. Anyways, I love to do Christmas shopping at giant beagle for my holiday peeps. I get the points and people get groceries, booze, gift cards and/or lotto tickets. Keep presents simple for those outside the nuclear family. But for the inner most loved ones within the homefront, give ‘em a little bit of everything. Make your gifts have a little bit of your inner personality. Oh, you don’t need to buy Christmas cards, make your own. You don’t need to buy wrapping paper; wrap in newspaper or a simple plastic bag. Everything ends up in the garbage at some point, yes, even the gifts. Just think: if you gave booze as a gift it will be drunk. If you gave food for a gift, it will be eaten. If you gave a gift card, THEY can figure out what they want. If you give lotto, it gives the scratcher a tiny bit of hope for some cash. Ho. Ho. Ho. Enjoy some hot cocoa and say, “Whoa!” really loud after each sip. Enjoy, and enjoy the damn holidays, & visualize young Mrs. Claus naked under her Mrs. Claus robe. Whoa! HEARING AID ON