Christmas Cheerathon & Some

“The Croods”: A recommended movie from a young neighborhood friend. This hilarious journey of a movie touched me on two levels: my closeness to caveman thinking and la famiglia. I enjoyed the crazy looking creatures and the constant humor of the scenarios and mishaps and how new is bad, therefore run to the cave. Douglas roles over and off the cliff he goes. Snapshot with a shot to the face with a rock. The father is great ‘cause all he has is his strength. But in the end of ends, sticking to the basics like survival in a cruel world, still hits home with me now. I always seek the bare essentials of maintaining survival: eat whatever is in the home, rather than go shopping; wear clothes until no longer effective (holes in socks, nonelastic undies, cut-off shirts with too many stains, shirts having those permanent b o stench (well those actually are down-graded to cut-offs)); make do with current tools, plates, dishware, car, hearing aid. You feel me. Even if sometimes I do have the money, I would prefer having the money for those crazy bills that pop up and you say to yourself: god dammit, I just thought I’d get ahead this one god damn time, you son of a bitchness. Well, maybe you say that, maybe you don’t. Grug may be simple minded but he knows one thing: taking care of his family is essential. I am no different. I will forgo it all so that my family is safe & provided for. Yeah, I get it, every parent does that, but sometimes we go to the extreme. I won’t buy beer so the family will have the money. I will not buy G. I. Joes (the oddest thing is that G.I. Joes is the only thing that lets me escape the harshness of realities and makes me feel good 100% (within the category of when one spoils his/herself)). I won’t buy me new clothes not if the wife & boys need/want them. I will eat the rotten banana so the family could have the good ones. I will drink water if there is a little bit of juice so the family could have the juice. My happiness extends from the fact that I know the wife & boys are taken care of, I just need G.I. Joes, poetry & some weights a couple times a year. Grug hit home for me, hell, we even share the same body type: top-heavy: big upper body & little legs. HEARING AID ON

“Scrooged”: An extremely clever take on you know which story. Love how Bobcat has all those crazy mishaps and at one point passed out from donating blood for money then has the money stolen. Ha, that is rich. You can feel the 80s in this movie: moral to the story and goofy great story-line. Murray is great, especially at the restaurant when he sees the eye ball and leaves by falling to the ground on the way out. There is so much weirdness in this film that it can only be given a HEARING AID ON. One cannot top the fact that this film was clever because it is about a guy who is showing a live version of Dicken’s play, only to be visited by 3 ghosts. I call that meta-Scrooge. I don’t even think Murray knows he was being Scrooged. The ghost of Christmas past was awesome, he was so foul-looking and creepy. I also wish I was invited to a company Christmas party like that. Scrooge is the true meaning of Christmas, and please DO NOT clap like the mother did when her son finally spoke, and do always cherish your siblings, never forget about them. I have been forgotten.

“Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas”: I am wondering if I even like this as a child. I definitely don’t like it as an adult. I couldn’t make out a word other than Who-ville because the voices where way too deep. I could also make out the song, but in the end, I just stared at the goofy narration and wondered what the hell was the point to me watching this 20 minutes of wondering what the narration is being said. With that said, I give this childless classic a HEARING AID OFF.

“Coogan’s Bluff”: The Texas jokes were great, but seeing Clint get the crap beat out of him was not so great. The fight scenes were so primitive and boring. If I want to see a boring fight, I will go to the bar, break up 2 girls catfighting, only to have me bumped in the ear and my hearing aid fall out, all the while, a dude is swinging at me thinking I started the fight with his stupid girlfriend, then as I search for my aid I get punched in the back of the head, find my hearing aid & shout to all at the bar that I found my hearing aid, of which all in bar look at me like I’m crazy and the bar wench wants me thrown out and I tell the skinny bouncer that I didn’t do nothing but I found my hearing aid. As for the dude who bunched my skull he was brutally assaulted with some punches & a kick by my boys. Oh, what a lame fight that was. This movie was like this: tall squinting man walks around with a cowboy hat and boots (pants too short), picks up girls, disobeys NYC’s cop protocol, received an A-1 ass-beatings, and finally catches the lame criminal. There was also a whacked out party scene that I know I would have enjoyed for a few hours until I got my tab and motherf’ed the corporate world for charging so damn much for a few beers when I know deep down that it would have been cheaper to buy a case and drink it at home. HEARING AID OFF