Stupid White Man

“Warm Bodies”: The boneys where damn creepy as hell & I got some new zombie, I mean Corpse’s (closed caption shows the word as being a pronoun, don’t know why) POV & what a zombie does all day. I definitely like the eating of the brains and obtaining the newly deceased/murdered memories (a little far fetched but not as far fetched as zombies: wha? wha? wha?). But after the Corpses recognize some stupid lame observation, they are on their way to humanity. Booooooooooooooooooooo!!! Something was missing from this zombie film: oh I know, the time when no one finds a cure. Cures in zombie movies are as good as boiled donkey balls in hummus. HEARING AID OFF

“The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”: The incredible butt blunderstone. C’mon, people, why is this the matrix for comedies, which turn out to be a stupid and a waste of mankind’s eyes: funny intro, stupid rest of the story where main character is a jerk, jokes are far fetched and being tried too hard, and jerk gets hot girl at end, in which hot girl is like 100 years younger than jerk-hero. Extreme comedy, which is were there tends to be too many forced jokes that simply do not work (Jim’s & Steve’s characters); the viewer cringes while watching and waiting for the unfunny comedy to end so the frail spheres called eyes can stop being poisoned. HEARING AID OFF

“The Lone Ranger”: Man, oh, man do I want to hang out with Johnny; he is awesome and obviously made this movie loveable. Yes, we do expect him to be downright odd, but when he does follow through and provide so much more, it is awesome. The other characters pretty much don’t matter, neither does the plot because all eyes are on Tonto and who cares about the old lone ranger because the almighty Depp wears a bird on his head and walks for miles on end at the end of the movie: creativity people. Gotta love the strangeness within the story simply because none of the story truly matters when there is a white caked Indian man making comments about the spirit horse and white people. HEARING AID ON

“World War Z”: Damn, I’m dead. There is no hope for me fighting those dead bastards, plus I don’t have any government friends. I mean these undead were the most frightening ones I have ever witnessed. If I saw one of those on the streets, I would poop my pants and yell like a girl. Pitt’s character was pretty sweet, just a regular government dude doing his thing and saving the day by being very observant. Hey, I’m very observant: I notice when people where the same shorts for a week straight, which people suck there thumbs and touch the keyboard with the wet thumb and when a little boy is trying to sneak sum chips in his mouth inside the library. It was also pretty sweet how the movie had a very scientific approach to the zombie effect on the masses. One other thing that allowed mankind to win this war on Z was luck. I’m a man of luck, so I guess I’ll shut my mouth, go wipe and head on out to do some Conan the Librarian moves. HEARING AID ON