“The Man With The Iron Fists”: Gosh dammit! Look at the
screen, there are a bunch of clowns doing kung-fu. Hell, that would have been
better than watching this movie. Picture this: tall clowns, midget clowns, fat
clowns, colorful clowns starring in a kung-fu movie. Now that is pure
entertainment because everyone hates clowns, yet would be willing to watch
kung-fu clowns in a film because it hasn’t been done yet. This film was over
the top, and no one would have been able to beat that X-men rip off character
that Batista played, especially a loser blacksmith that happened to be black
(to quote Curly, “What a co-inkidink?) Seriously, if you are going to torture
me with over the top fight scenes, hair and acting, at least show me some boobs
in the bathtub scene; women do not bathe in a bathtub with clothes on. Why show
the scene? I think someone should make a bunch of What If comedy movies (title idea
from Marvel comics) in which someone makes a movie that removes the stereotypes
from one culture and gives it to another. Henceforth: a movie where a Westerner
visits Asia and realizes no one there does
martial arts but makes spaghetti, pizza, and does that thing that mobsters do.
Or whites were enslaved in Africa, in which USA came about: United States of
Africa. Basically, taking the stereotypes and creating humor. I know, who cares
about my movie lackluster thoughts, but more importantly who cares about this
movie, which got a HEARING AID OFF from me.
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