Oh My Abe

“Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies”: Okay, okay, we all know this movie was made b/c of the popular Lincoln movies made and the continuous craze for zombies. Yes, not only has Honest Abe fought the Confederates and vampires, he now goes after zombies. The idea has potential but the zombies and Stonewall sucked. The zombies would fall asleep standing up until someone made noise and poof the damn things would spring to action. Not a very good addition to the zombie lore. Stonewall’s beard and actor both sucked the high hyenas that died forty years ago. But Abe was awesome and loved everything about him: his look, walk, demeanor, and his sling blade, but why on earth have him dumb enough to care for a zombie whore. Sure it added a cool, new dimension to the shot in the theater part of his life, but it was plain dumb and ruined the movie a pinch more. Why can’t people just put it in their heads to take the kill-as-you-go-approach b/c everyone knows the zombie you let leave, kills some innocent hottie. Just like, when one knocks out a psycho killer, don’t slowly creep over the knocked out body, grab an object and smash the skull to tiny wet, dust mite pulps. Just do it. HEARING AID OFF