2 Outs By The Seagalmaster

“Out For A Kill”: Out for nothing. Here the great Seagalmaster is a professor with a secret past, which doesn’t matter. Picture the picture I plant for you on how this movie is portrayed, because it is far better than the actually movie. Trust me, my analogy is far better, plus you’ll never have to treat yourself to watch the over weight Seagalmaster movie rot your gracious brain cells. Imagine the Jolly Green Giant (JGG) strolling along from USA to Bulgaria to France and a few other places in between. Better yet, imagine a twirling globe and JGG taking huge leaps from point A to point B on the globe, and ever time JGG lands in a particular locality you are given a time of day that truly never matters. Oh, JGG has very frizzy green pea pod hair in the back of his head. JGG also can read Chinese and fights crazy mystic masters of martial arts that toss and twirl in midair after being pummeled by JGG’s fists. JGG’s fighting style is very slow, so slow you think the movie is in slow mo, of which most of it is. As JGG walks through the towns, he disappears like a glimmer. JGG never removes his leather coat. JGG seeks revenge. JGG walks on into the shading shadow of the sun to only be left growing in the seeking sadness of a newly horizoned sun. HEARING AID OFF

“Out For Justice”: And give my main main event Seagalmaster the bad assed prize of being that Italian cop who is out for justice. Gino DOES not mess around and YOU do NOT mess with Gino, whether you a criminal or in the mob. Seagalmaster is awesome as an Italian. His walk (which is his natural walk) is Italian, his greasy ponytail is Italian, his hand gestures are Italian, his bad ass attitude is Italian, his Caprice he drives is Italian (my brother & nephews have one each), his facial expressions are Italian, and even the way he plays Gino is Italian. How about that pool ball fighting style? Ho’ man, DO NOT mess with the Seagalmaster’s success! (Shortly after this film, my other brother carried a pool ball in a handkerchief around in his coat pocket). This movie is what action is all about: the good guy doing what needs to be done against the bad guys and only the good guy comes out triumphant and is not stopped by a mere bullet. Hell no! Bullets do not stop the Seagalmaster, he never acknowledges when a bullet shreds his skin and innards. HEARING AID ON