Sload Of Movies

"Officer Down": Bust out cops played by bust out actors. Nearly every single male in this movie had a receding hair line, reminding me of my future hair days; good bye great lovely locks of curled golden sunned hair. The main character looked like he was hired straight outta the homeless pile of recovering drug addicts. The movie had an okay plot, but in the inevitable end within the big scheme of things, another worthless cop movie about crooked cops. HEARING AID OFF

"Evil Dead" (Original): This is the only movie I have ever watched as a child and was too scared to watch it by myself that I turned it off. The movie is dark and demonly demented and awesome. All one has to do is watch Ash's face, and be absorbed into how scared the scenery looks. The cabin is creepy, the demon voices are terrifying. A classic work of art, that was remade 2 more times in very different ways.as well as all the same. Watching this movie again, allowed me to see the pure rise of a hero within the movie: Ash goes from scaredy cat to demon slayer. HEARING AID ON

"From Beyond": Third wiggly eye that sees everything in 80s computer graphics, slimy alien creature that constantly mutates; Candyman; 80s chick dressing sexy but doesn't look remotely sexy because of unsexy face and atrocious hair: what is not to love about this adventure? Pay particular attention to the computer system: wow, very reminiscent of the mad scientist black and white era computers: push this button, hit this switch, move that lever and let us hope the experiment works. I thought the big giant deformed hands were hideous and made me gag out my popcorn. I would hate to be touched by such a thing from beyond. HEARING AID ON

"Maniac Cop": Big jawed revenging crazed man who can take numerous bullet shots. Bruce Campbell and "Thrill me" cop from Night of the Creeps made grand appearances with the awesome everything of the 80s. Pay particular attention to the suit coats with the special specs of contrasting color dots, thus making the suit coats look like rugs. Bad hair days in this film, along with a crazed cop in New York (what cop isn't portrayed as crazy in New York?). BTW, the jaw is real. It was pretty cool to have a horror movie appear like a mystery: murders are happening by whom and why; the viewer has to find out as the smart assed detective figures things out. It was even a nice touch to have the smart ass be defenestrated. HEARING AID ON

"Creature From The Black Lagoon": Creature was amazing. I don't care if this movie was a product of its time. The movie was sooooooooo slow moving. It was like watching a National Geographic show about fish. I loved the wise cracking cigar chewing captain. I also loved how the one pipe smoking doctor received a few scrapes from the Creature but had his face totally bandaged up as if, as if, as if his entire head was sucked off by the creature. What was up with the girl swimming so much and the Creature showing off his merman skills? Whatever! HEARING AID OFF

"Killer Klowns From Outer Space": Nearly all hate clowns. Watch this movie and you'll hate clowns ever more, especially if you witness a tall one. How about Dean Wormer being a cop?He was hilarious. This movie was an 80s riot with stupid lame ass jokes, crazy plot, bad acting, bad hair and killer klowns. The clown humor never ended: little cars, cotton candy, funny walks, sprinkler flowers, popcorn guns: all awesome. The klowns were straight up goofy looking, but once they smiled, oh man, you would not want to ever meet eye to eye with a clown. Clowns are creeper, Klowns are deadlier. HEARING AID ON

"Street Trash": Trash, trash, straight up dung from a huge heaping pile of crap from a sheep that just ate haggis and shat it out. Shat it. Shat it. Shat it out loud. (Sing to tune of Kiss' Shout it). Who ever had any involvement with this film should obtain a week long stomach flu that goes in this order: 1 week puking, 1 week sitting on the toilet, and 1 more week puking and sitting on the toilet. If anyone who has paid a compliment to this film in any way, shape or form should never be offered the option of true love. The move was about street trash and their lame interconnectedness that even the cosmos would like to have made sure were never created outside within the universe, but sadly the film was made and I painstakingly plowed through it. The film left a terrible disgust within my bowels and then into my psyche. Filthy characters were shown as engaging in sex. This was Hill Have Eyes infused with homeless, thus creating Homeless Have Eyes. Nothing horror about this film, rather a Toxic Avenger/Troma type move. I hate this movie and the idiotic memories given to me. HEARING AID OFF